In a world where we’re constantly exposed to everyone else’s successes (physical, professional and sentimental) on social media, it’s easy to feel like we’re falling short on something, like we’re not good enough. And when you associate your worth with your weight those feelings of low self-esteem are magnified even further.
To get over this feeling, you might go to the gym more or start a weight loss plan, and as a result you get fitter and healthier but that nagging feeling still remains.
So why do so many of us feel like we’re not good enough? And how do we deal with this familiar feeling?
The feeling of not being ‘good enough’ may have started in childhood with a demanding parent or teacher: ‘Look how polite your friend Sam is, why can’t you be more like him?’ ‘70% on your test? What did your classmates get?’
It likely became exacerbated as we grew up, with social media exposing us day after day to everyone’s amazing (filtered) life and everyone around us seemingly being incredibly successful, cool and having their lives completely figured out…who ARE these people?
Regardless of which external trigger caused the feeling the first time, our internal dialogue has been keeping it alive ever since. Sometimes, we get good feedback or recognition for something we’ve done, and the feeling subsides temporarily – only to come back in full force once something else happens which seems to be the ultimate proof: you’re not good enough.
The problem with relying on external validation to make the feeling go away is that we are completely at its mercy. We never know how long the negative thoughts will last because we don’t know when someone will pay us a compliment. And so, the vicious cycle continues.
At the New You Plan, we work with our customers to easily create a calorie deficit, resulting in weight loss averaging a stone a month. But that is only a small part of the whole program. In fact, many of our customers say the weight loss is easy part. The more important work is helping our customers see that their weight is not linked to their worth. They are good enough, right now, not when they lose x amount of lbs. It’s this change in mindset, this gradual shift which transforms our customer’s health and ultimately their lives. We would love to show you how, for more information on what we do and to get started click here.
In the meantime, the best way to effectively deal with the feeling of not being ‘good enough’ is to recognise that it comes from within, and to train our mind to stop engaging in negative thoughts. The following tips really help. You need to do them on a regular basis in order for them to come naturally.
Let Your Negative Thoughts Float Away
This requires a little imagination but, it really works! When a negative thought comes up, picture placing it on a little boat and letting it float away on the water. This trains your mind to let negative thoughts go rather than trying to stop them – which only makes matters worse.
Celebrate Your Wins
It’s easy to put pressure on yourself to always perform better while ignoring what we do well (‘Yeah, but that doesn’t count – it was easy’). Try to be more mindful of your successes and take a moment to celebrate them. It can be anything: getting a promotion or some positive feedback, helping a friend feel better – whatever. Celebrating small wins helps to realise that you have successes in your everyday life and trains you to be more mindful of them.
Fire Up Your Imagination
Think of a time when you were ‘good enough’ – when you did something well. Make sure that you visualise the exact moment: what were the surroundings like?
What made you feel good in that specific moment? How did you feel? Where in your body do you feel it: in your chest, your head, your arms? What thoughts accompany this feeling?
Think of a word to describe yourself in that moment (it can be anything: ‘I’m awesome’, ‘I rock’. whatever!) Remind yourself of that moment and repeat the words over to yourself a few times. Do these 5 times in a row a few times a day – really make sure that you feel it in your body, it really helps to remind your mind of that feeling!
Limit Social Media
Social media does you no favours in terms of self-esteem. Constantly being exposed to other peoples’ (filtered) lives will not help your feelings of being good enough – your life looks amazing on social media too, doesn’t it!? Try to limit checking social media to once or twice a day and avoid reverting to it automatically every time you’re bored.
Talk To A Friend
Sharing your worries with someone who cares about you has been demonstrated to reduce stress and anxiety. Not only that, but you’d be surprised at how many people feel like they’re not ‘good enough’. By telling people how you feel, you might learn that others feel the same, which will demonstrate that it’s a feeling fuelled by you rather than a reality.
Sit comfortably with your feet firmly planted on the floor. Push your feet against the floor as hard as possible and notice the physical feeling of this. Touch something – a pet, a set of keys, a phone, whatever! – and notice the feeling of the object against your fingertips. This really helps to distract you from your negative thoughts and focus on the present – try to do this as often as possible.
The way you choose to measure your worth affects the kind of life you’ll live. Use a measuring stick based on factors you can control — not the external events in your life or the numbers on the scale. They only measure one thing – weight. Not the awesomeness of you.
Start Your TFR Journey Today!
Getting started is the first step in your journey to a brand New You! To help you understand fully how our plan works, our Get Started page was designed specifically for people new to the plan.
Head over to our site where you’ll find tonnes of important information including how our plan works, the science behind it, loads of top tips, information on our meals, as well as real customer testimonials.
Click here to visit our Get Started page!Tags: new you diet plan, NEW YOU PLAN, tfr diet, TFR diet advice, TFR diet tips