Follow New You on Facebook 100k+ likes

Facebook fans

028 3833 0720

Today: 8am - 8pm


VLCD Total Food Replacement Specialists. Chose from over 35 Nutritionally Complete Ketogenic Meals & Snacks.


Free Weight Loss Mindset Coaching Program created with Celebrity Life Coach Ali Campbell, Get Instant Access!


Join in and have Fun with our Friendly Community. Weight Loss Challenges, Theme Days, Prizes & Live Meet Ups.


Refeed with Confidence and Learn how to Eat a Healthy Fresh Diet with our support & maintenance group.


Free Yoga & Pilates Online Videos Created by Stretch Body & Mind. Enter our weekly Fit Bit Prize Draw!

10 New You Commandments to Love Your Body | VLCD

Share Button

Love Commandment 1:

Get Out of Your Own Way

The New You Plan: Fast weight loss results with our VLCD plan

February is nearly upon us, and as it is the month of love we shall be covering 10 New You Commandments to Love Your Body over the next few weeks, written by our transformation winner and recent addition to the team – Melissa Gordon. [Article below]

The 10 Commandments to love your body

blog 30012014


Love Commandment 1: Get Out of Your Own Way

“Self-sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen.” ~ Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby

The first Love Commandment I will be covering this month is very close to my heart as I am my own worst enemy sometimes and find myself failing purely due to self-sabotage.

Self sabotage can take many forms – procrastination, deluding yourself with excuses to enable continuation of bad habits, or even simply doing the exact opposite of what you should be doing to achieve your goals.

An example of this would be aiming to lose weight, but continually “forgetting” your gym gear so that you won’t have time to make your Zumba class; or putting off purchasing the TFR / VLCD bundle you want so that you can have an excuse not to start the plan.

So, how can you get out of your own way? Let’s look at some of the causes of self sabotage and how to sidestep them so that you can start LOVING YOUR BODY!

– Delusions and Solutions

Now this really is an expertise of mine! I gained an awful lot of weight over the course of about three years – and I’m talking at least 4 stone here! – but I just didn’t notice.
How can that possibly be?

Well, every time I went up a trouser size I loudly complained about how clothing shops were making clothes smaller and smaller these days, or that the jeans I could no longer fit into had just shrunk in the washing machine.
That the photo that showed my double chins was just taken at the wrong angle. That the reason I was out of breath when climbing one flight of stairs was because I was probably getting a chest infection.
It was only when one morning I went to work and was looking at some film footage of an event I attended at work that it all hit home. I didn’t realise that the obese woman on the screen was me – I thought it was just some stranger in the shot… that I pitied.
When I realised with a jolt at just how big I had become, it shocked me and it was painful. But I am thankful for it, as it helped disintegrate my delusions.

The Solution to Delusion? Honesty.
It seems very simple, but when you have something that is incredibly difficult to face – like that you REALLY ARE a Size XXXL – it can be the hardest thing in the world.
The trick to this is FEELING. Feel the real emotion (fear, sadness, panic, whatever) and don’t automatically push it away or distract yourself from it. Hold onto it, admit what the truth really is behind it, and know that now you are AWARE you can take action to CHANGE it!

The Freedom of Failure

This might seem a little strange at first glance, but the fear of failure is what usually stops people from trying and causes procrastination.

It may seem daunting to begin great journeys into the unexpected – like starting a Total Food Replacement diet and being scared of falling off the wagon or finding it too hard. But don’t let this stop you!
A trick to overcoming this is to define how you think you might fail, and then write actions for how you are going to rebound from these mistakes, so the fear of failure is diminished. The more mistakes you make, the more you will learn about yourself, your triggers and how to avoid them next time.

And remember – mistakes simply show that you are trying!

Big Picture Blues

Deciding that you need to take action and make a huge change in your life is wonderful, but can also seem impossible! When I knew I had to lose 6 stone (at least) I felt completely overwhelmed, and beginning the first step to lose a few pounds seemed a little pointless in the grand scheme of things.

Instead of looking at the whole journey ahead, break it down into smaller goals and milestones, with rewards when you reach them! Adding a deadline can also be incredibly motivating in conjunction with these, and looking forward to a nice treat such as a massage or getting your nails done makes the road ahead much easier to travel.

Are you a self-saboteur? I’d love to hear your stories and any more tips or tricks to help us all GET OUT OF OUR OWN WAY!

[box type=”download” size=”large” style=”rounded”]Leave your comments below[/box]

Lots of Love,

Share Button
Tags: , , , ,

20 Responses

  1. Jackie says:

    Wow. I thought you were talking about me. I nailed week one but week 2 and 3 were pure hell. i used every excuse in the book to not follow the plan. I used my back issue as a reason for not exercising. I used my daily nosebleeds as a reaction to the plan. In reality they were just excuses. Im now on day 3 and stuck to it. I have a trip booked for the end of august to go to Texas and I just keep picturing myself in a pair of shorts that I love but havent worn in 20 years. Ive even got them out and measured how many inches till they zip up. I have this image in my mind of a slim trim me and have finally come to the understanding that in order to achieve this, I have to stick with the plan. I also know that I have events coming up in february and march that could derail my weight loss if I allow them too. As both these involve food, I intend to just have the meat as its protein and start back the following morning. 2 weddings are something I have to attend but it doesnt have to be the end of my weight loss journey.

    • Melissa Gordon says:

      Wow Jackie, thank you for your comment – and well done for becoming so aware! This is something that I do still struggle with myself, so I understand how hard it can be to catch yourself in the act of sabotage 😉
      Great idea to get those shorts out, I am 100% positive that you will be ROCKING them in Texas!
      Visualisation and thinking positive really is key to get you through those difficult moments like your upcoming events – and from the sounds of it you are NAILING that! I will be covering visualisation and positive thinking in the 5th instalment of this series, and hope to see a comment from you letting me know how you are getting on 😀
      Go get ’em girl! xxx

  2. i also used the excuse that i was in a car accident and couldnt exercise i put it off for a couple of weeks but once i started there was no going back i love the fact that i can see the weight coming off and other people have too which is great i have a couple of family functions in feb and march but i intend to stick to plan as i want to lose weight more than anything else there will be plenty of other family functions to attend when im a skinny minny lol no more standing in my own way im the only one who can do this and im never going to sabotage myself anymore i can and will do this i owe it to myself and my two kids to be a happy and healthy mum thanks new you and s.s you are fantastic xx

    • Melissa Gordon says:

      WOW PAULINE! I love the strength and positivity of your statements – you are definitely going to accomplish your goals with this attitude 😀
      And you are completely right – there will always be more functions to attend, being on Total Food Replacement isn’t forever! I found that hard to deal with when I first started on the plan, but when I realised that it was the choice between having a few drinks and enjoying myself A LITTLE at the upcoming events, or drinking sparkling water instead and enjoying my skinny, healthy self A LOT at other events later in the year it was a no brainer 😉
      Good luck, and let me know of all of your successes – I’m rooting for you! xxx

  3. Julz says:

    Great blog post Melissa. I think everyone has experienced self sabotage. Myself included. Looking forward to reading the remaining blogs in this series xxx

    • Melissa Gordon says:

      Thanks Julz! Really enjoying writing them so far – and it’s helping me stay on the straight and narrow too 😀 xxx

  4. Grant Grant says:

    Great blog Melissa and it has made me aware of a few issues I indeed still battle with myself just because I have have not taken the time (effort if I am honest) to confront these demons. Well written and I cant wait to see the next installment.

  5. Rebecca Shannon says:

    Hi Melissa , I love your blog and it has certainly given me a lot to think about ……no more excuses from me any more. I’m enjoying the comments from others , It’s all very motivating so thank you everyone and I look forward to the next installment 😉

    • Melissa Gordon says:

      Thanks so much Rebecca! Glad to hear that there are no more excuses from you, and remember if you ever feel like you might fall off the wagon you can always post here or on Secret Slimmers and get all the support you need 😀
      I’m sure you’re going to ROCK IT!! Next installment will be on Tuesday, and I’d love to know what you think of it?
      Love, Melissa

  6. Nadine says:

    Great blog Melissa!
    I can totally relate to the procrastination of starting a diet. My killer is coffee, lattes to be precise. From working in a coffee shop starting at the silly hours of the morning I found it really hard to steer clear from the high sugared sweet coffees first thing. I find the shakes are a great way of perking up even having them hot with a cheeky shot of espresso it a great way to STOP me feeling like I was left out, or that I needed a latte.
    When I first tried the plan I was very sceptical and found myself only staying on it a few days at a time, but with a wedding coming up I have finally put all my excuses to the side and really set myself a goal. like you said its not about the big picture its about the small steps and setting reachable goals in reasonable time limits. Every time I drop a dress size I’m going to treat myself to a nice manicure! 😀
    Thank you for the great advice! xxx

    • Melissa Gordon says:

      Thanks Nadine for your lovely comment, I can definitely relate to the craving for decadent coffees first thing! I’m a caffeine junkie, so when I tried the Hazelnut Shake made with coffee granules I was over the moon: more yummy than a Coffee Shop beverage, and a lot cheaper too 😉
      Well done for committing to the plan, I am sure you will look GORGEOUS and feel GREAT for the wedding and ROCK your lovely manicured nails to boot! 😀 xxx

  7. Barbara Dargan says:

    Thanks Melissa, Your timing is perfect, This is me to a T! I am the queen of self sabotage & have been for years putting my life on hold for whatever reason I could come up with, I’m so sick of it now,
    No more xxx

    • Melissa Gordon says:

      Woohooo Barbara!! This is great to hear! Realising that you were doing this is the first step to incredible success, you are the only person that can create your own happiness and I know that you are going to do it 😀
      Let me know how you are getting on, I myself am back on The New You Plan 100% so we can NAIL this together xxxx

  8. Shauna says:

    I’m only coming across this post today through my own fault of course I have done nothing but self sabotage since I started a long time ago.. April last year in fact I was brilliant at the start and lost 2 stone for a wedding in may and June but after it I didn’t get straight back to my plan instead I went out and fell back into my old habits and since then I’ve just been losing what I put up finally get back to the 12,3 mark and find an excuse to go off and sabotage myself again.. I’ve never seen the 11,s and really want to get in of them to break that barrier I have.. Thankfully I’ve 2 weddings in April and May so I’m hoping to stay on track and get to a weight that I can b proud to show off at the wedding.. I don’t know why I sabotage myself so badly because when I’m on the plan I’m 100% with the occasional extra bar but I’m not tempted by food and feel brilliant and it reflects in my home life but I’m making a promise to read every blog and even go back to some.. Looking forward to your next ones x

    • Melissa Gordon says:

      Oh Shauna, I completely understand how you feel and I have been guilty of this myself! Have you ever heard “What is measured always improves”? I have found that to be very helpful when coming off the plan and refeed, when I began to fall into old habits. What I do every week now is weigh myself on a Monday morning – no excuses! – and make sure that the pounds aren’t creeping back on. If they have, it’s a good indicator that I need to look at my current habits and change them, before I get back to square 1!
      I would also recommend using a diary to plan out all of your big social events for the next few months (like your weddings), then jot down beside them what weight you would like to be at each, and what outfit you would like to ROCK. Then you can see how much weight you need to lose each week to accomplish those goals, and it’s so motivating to stay on track 😉

      Thanks so much for your comment, I’m looking forward to hearing about all of your successes with the plan and please let me know when you’ve hit those elusive 11’s and beyond! 😀

  9. mandy sibley says:

    Thankyou for your blog Melissa.
    For years I blamed my lack of mobility for my weight and as an excuse for doing nothing about it.
    New You has been fantastic for me, even though I can’t exercise I lose at least 3lbs a week. Because of this my daughter 1st and now my husband have joined NY.
    Keep keeping us focused. ♡♡♡

    • Melissa Gordon says:

      WOW! You truly are an inspiration Mandy – congratulations on your losses and overcoming your excuses! How wonderful that you have set such a great example that your daughter and hubbie have joined too 😀
      Lots of love, Melissa xxxx

  10. Lorna says:

    That’s so clever and to put it into words means that I can no longer make excuses for anything, thanks very much, how helpful!

    • Melissa Gordon says:

      Aww thanks Lorna, really chuffed that you enjoyed my blog! It took me years to realise I was my own saboteur, so it’s lovely to know that writing this has helped people 😀
      Thanks again – and here’s to you getting out of your own way <3 🙂 😉 😀 xxxx