Confidence – It’s All In The Mind

Right now, you may feel that you’ve never been a confident person, and that may be true. Alternatively, you may think that you were a confident child, but are an unconfident adult. The sad truth is that as you become an adult you are exposed to the world and get feedback from others on your actions and decisions. As you get older you also learn how to criticise yourself and doubt who you are and what you can do. All this feedback and negative criticism can lead to a sense of unworthiness which can chip away and dismantle your confidence. 

You may find that you are confident in certain areas of your life but not others and this is very common. You might feel that you are confident in your job but not in your personal relationships for example.

You may not realise, but confidence isn’t something that just happens to you. And when you see people around you that are confident, it’s something they have worked at. You see, confidence is a skill, which can be developed and strengthened, just like a muscle. And in order to flex that muscle, you need to get in touch with your growth mindset and remove the fixed mindset that tells you that you’re not a confident person and that, that will never change.

Easier said than done though, right?

Well as with anything, if you’ve got the right tools and you’re willing to do the work, then growing your confidence can become something that is easier than you think. Developing confidence has multiple life benefits. Research has shown that those with high self-confidence enjoy better overall health because they deal better with stress and difficult emotions. They have more time and better relationships as they tend to set healthy boundaries and have the ability to focus on improving relationships. So putting in a bit of work to achieve this is definitely worth it.

So to give you a helping hand, we’ve put together some great tips from our mindset coach to help you make a start on growing your confidence in any area of your life that you feel you need.

And here they are:

Become aware

The first step in working towards your confidence is being aware – aware of what areas of your life you need to improve your self-confidence in. Brain dump all the situations you feel you lack confidence. After that, dig a little bit deeper into each one. For example, if social settings or situations are on your list, ask yourself, are you always not confident in any social situations in any social settings?  

What does confidence look like to you?

Confidence is subjective. What you see as confidence may not be to other people. Think about times that you may have experienced confidence yourself. What was the situation? What did that look like and how did it make you feel both emotionally and physically? Have a look at the people around you or even people in the media who you find aspirational because of their confidence. How do they act? How do they talk?

Knowledge is always power

When you think about the area that you lack self-confidence in, consider what you need in order to develop that confidence. Do some research on how you can get the knowledge that you need. Then make a plan with easy to take steps so you can learn what you need to know. 

Be the authentic you

It’s too easy to lose your authenticity when you’re stuck doing the same things day in and day out. The good news is that you don’t have to change everything to be authentic, just spend some time thinking about what is important to you. 

Maybe it’s your family or the security of good finances that are important. Or it could be that you want to have more adventures and fun in your life. Just know what you want and be yourself as much as you can. In doing this you will let go of any negativity you’ve been holding onto and feel a sense of relief and even accomplishment that you are being true, which always leads to self-confidence.

Make some new habits to shift your focus

Your confidence and self-image is something you can develop by taking on habits that you choose for yourself. The key is to start small by implementing ways in which you can love yourself more, compliment yourself more and to be kinder to yourself. 

Your habits create your mood and create a filter and a focus for how you go through life. So make sure you choose a positive habit for a positive focus.

A way to do this is instead of habitually looking at the things you dislike about your body, pick out the things you do like and concentrate on why that is and be thankful out loud. You can use these ideas of love towards your body to create empowering statements that you can use as mantras. 

Try mantras for self-esteem

Your voice is a great tool, and although it may feel weird talking to yourself, you should be your greatest cheerleader. So if you’ve not done it before and want to give it a try, then think about some statements that are relevant to your confidence goals. Here are some suggestions:

• I am amazing I am powerful 
• I am so proud of me 
• Nothing can stop me.
• I believe in myself and my abilities. 
• It is enough to have done my best. 
• I have the power to change myself. 
• It may not always be easy and that’s ok. 

Journaling can help

If mantras aren’t your thing then journaling can be just as useful. You can write down on a daily basis all the positive things that have happened and what you are grateful for. Doing this highlights what you have in your life. It will make you feel positive and happy which will have a knock-on effect on your self-belief and confidence.

Fake it until you make it

This really does work. If you act and practice being confident, then confidence will come. And you know, the only way to become good at anything is to practice and the same goes for your confidence. And it’s important to practice the right way in order to make your actions become second nature. You could try some of these on a daily basis:

• Stand or sit in a posture of confidence. 
• Get familiar with your inner voices.
• Talk kindly to yourself.
• Visualise yourself, confident. 
• Celebrate all your wins.

Whether you try some of these or all of these to start with, you need to abandon the idea of perfection. It’s unrealistic and unattainable because it’s a subjective concept – meaning that what is perfect to one person might not be to another. You’re not going to achieve perfect confidence and then just keep it. It’s something that needs work to develop, grow and maintain – it will never be ‘perfect’ but that’s ok.

Just know that if you take action on a regular basis you will build up that confidence muscle. And if you let go of things and allow yourself to be authentic it can really open the doors up to more opportunities. 

For more coaching on improving your mindset and confidence, head on over to our Secret Slimmer’s Facebook group and watch Pascale’s November sessions in the Guide section. There is also a workbook you can download and work through to really nail that confidence you’ve been craving.