Lesson #9 “Remove Toxic People!”
Lesson #9 “Remove Toxic People!”
[box]I am going to be 39 on the 30th November. I am sharing with you 39 lessons I have learned in 39 years, with one lesson a day for the 39 days before my 39th birthday! Phew! 
You can read the opening post and see an index to all the 39 life lessons HERE. I hope you enjoy reading these life lessons and please do leave me a comment as I will be personally replying to all comments! Thank you for sharing this journey with me.[/box]
One of the best things you can do for yourself is get rid of the toxic people in your life. If someone brings you down, upsets you, and generally disrespects you, it is time to have a think about getting them out of your life.
If people are upsetting you and it is making you unhappy then don’t feel guilty about removing them. Especially if they are easily removed and someone who should not be impacting you.
If they are a family member, then maybe you will just start to limit the time you are with that person, and start putting yourself first. And in some other instances it might not be viable for you to remove a person, in that case then I would highly recommend you read the chapter on being proactive in Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective people.
This year has been the year of the detox for me, I have got rid of a few toxic people, who have caused me a lot of pain. Life is too short to have people who hurt you in your life.
I am a big believer in giving people second chances, in extending an olive branch, and accepting apologies, and I always think relationships should be valued, and worked on. But that is a 2 way thing, and if you are the only one putting in the positive energy into a relationship then it is time to rethink.
It’s not nice but some people are only out for themselves, so you do need to be aware of who the good people are you in life, and focus on them, and forget the ones who disrespect you.
Negative toxic people can wear you down, once you let them go, or let your attachment to them go, you will feel lighter and happier! Which can only be a good thing for your emotional, mental and physcial health!
I am a big believer in the Law of Vacuum. If you create a space and remove people or things from your life, then that space will be filled.
Recently I have had so many good people come into my life and I feel blessed to be meeting amazing people almost every day now!
I am entering an exciting chapter of my life… but I had to make the decision to remove some toxic people first.
For today’s comment, I would love to know if you have ever had this experience, of having to remove someone negative from your life, and then how that improved your life.
Thank you for all your comments so far on my blogs!
Julz x
I know I am v
Oh Julz this is so true …… Creating a distance between myself and the doubters has really helped me on my journey over the last year . I guess I’m really lucky as I havnt really had to ditch anyone toxic , but I would if they bothered me that much !
I think I’ve now reached an age where I rise above the people who are toxic to me …… I try not to let anyone bring me down . Xxx
Really love your blogs Julie-Anne <3<3<3 xx
Thank you Jasmine! You have such a shining happy aura! 🙂 xx
Here here!!
6 years ago I removed the most toxic person from my life and although hard it has been so worth it, I don’t suffer fools gladly any more and have become a strong confident person – I now see people more clearly and when I realise they are negative and wrong for me I am happy to move them out of my life. I now have a strong positive group of friends who support me through all areas of my life and I am starting to love life again x
I am reading your blog every day. Nothing is happening in my brain.
I have every meal I ordered in the garage and the cupboard and cannot
focus.
Today made sense. Work has been driving me insane and I am using it as
an excuse to comfort eat. I have felt so anxious. I am being made redundant but still expected to do everything until I leave in July.
I just need to kickstart my brain and focus before July and as you said remove work from my life even though I am still there??? I hope that makes sense. Just need some words of wisdom like you. xxxxx
Thanks xxxx
Lesley – its definately time to focus on you!! Put yourself first, that is what the company is doing, so they have to be able to see it from your side. Explain to them there are only so many hours in a day, what do that want doing, oh and they should allow you time off for interviews if they are making you redundant – good luck 😉 you can do this!!!
So true Julz although it’s really tough to do. It takes courage and determination, much the same as it takes to be on this journey to the new me (us!). But actually it’s totally worth it. Toxic people are exhausting, They drain you of all your energy and are absolutely not worth the time of day. I’ve had to clear one from my life and although it was extremely hard, it ended up being a very positive move. Like you I ended up with some really amazing new people in my life. Keep these blogs coming, I love them xxx
Julie-Ann this is so my mantra!
I give people so many chances, probably too many, but I reach a point of no return & then that is it – gone! I guess people don’t realise it so don’t understand why ‘all of a sudden’ I say enough is enough.
I have done this with ‘friends’ and an ex-boyfriend. They get so many chances but then, poof – I’m gone!
I will have to read that book though as I have a few people for one reason or another I can’t just ditch.
I have reduced my interaction with 1 as much as I can get away with 😉
The others I have to deal with on an almost daily basis & I try not to take things personally but it is tough.
I also look at myself & the people I am with to try and make sure I am not toxic to them. After all its good to have good friends I can rely on but if all I do is cry on their shoulder or rely on them to get me out of trouble, what do they get from the relationship!
Glad you have had a Toxic clear out Julie-Ann, well done 😉
Hi Julz,
Another great blog! That’s exactly what I did last and this year, got rid of negative people who used to bring me down. Like this one so called friend I had, when she knew I was on the diet she would come over with lots of food and drink items and try very hard to make me join her in a feast, knowing that I was weak when it came to food and drink, I even told her not to bring anything but she always did. She cared about herself mostly and all the attention was always on her. Now, I’m not saying that I don’t like the attention myself, but I couldn’t even bring up my problems in the conversation as she would just never stop talking. She has also turned my best friend against me and now she became very negative and bad influence so I’m slowly letting her go too and just not seeing her much. I have still friends left who support me and who help me grow, and that’s the only people I want to have in my life. xxx 🙂
so true julie we need to remove the negatives from our lives i too have had to distance myself from my life nd i feel so much better for having done it xxx
Hi Julie Ann, I have had some begrudges in my life but I simply choose to ignore them as they simply do not count for anything in my life. I would not call them toxic just unhappy. Nothing worse than that Thank God.
Have a good evening everybody
Oh my goodness, this really hits home for me!!;I had to relocate to get away from someone who was initially my soulmate but then everything went wrong. Controlling, threats, aggressive all sorts. Hardest thing I have ever done!!! Equally so glad I did. I am becoming a new and improved version of what I used to be. Ever so slightly emotional now. Thanks Julie Ann, great post and so real. Xxxx
hi Julz,
finally getting time to read your posts and am really enjoying them! I HAD to comment on this, my younger sister is a toxic person i removed from my life. It was hard but she caused and thrived on drama and negativity. It came to a head when she blew up in front of my young boys, swearing and making up lies about their dad, over a year later and i feel so light without her. She still causes stress to my other sister and mum but not me. Its hard but mentally its worth it.